What is rice?

Compliments of Subasaurus WRX from www.wrxforum.com

Etymology – (Where the word came from) Originally derived from a derisive term used by riders of American and European motorcycles to describe imported Japanese motorcycles in the early 1960’s. At the time most Japanese motorcycles were powered by two stroke engines that gave off a much higher exhaust note than their four-stroke brethren. This sound combined with the metallic ringing caused by poor piston to cylinder clearance and resulting piston slap gave rise to the terms “ring-dings” or “ring-dingers” for two-stroke imports. Also, two-strokes use oil in gas to lubricate engine internals causing blue smoke and a distinctive smell from the exhaust. The standard joke of the day was that the bikes were fueled by Sake or rice wine instead of gasoline. Since most Americans couldn’t tell Sake from bukake the name quickly evolved into “Rice-burner”. By the mid-eighties the term “ring-ding” fell into disuse as almost all the Japanese imports were four-strokes but the “rice-burner” moniker still held.

Around this same time Japanese car imports became serious competition for domestic autos on car lots across the USA. The derogatory term “rice-burner” or “ricer” migrated from the two-wheeled world to the four-wheeled one. As gen-X’ers reached car-buying age they didn’t have the previous generations prejudice against far-east imports as they grew up with them in their driveways. Many Hondas, Toyotas and Datsuns were purchased. As is the case with all things mechanical and mobile, the urge to have “contests of speed” struck owners of cars imported from the land of the rising sun. From the void came a new class of auto mechanics called “tuners”. These guys were prone to getting insane amounts of horsepower from relatively small engines with the resultant increases in acceleration and top speeds. In order to help vehicles designed for 100hp to deal with 2, 3, or even 400hp they borrowed tricks learned from established racing series. IMSA, SCCA, TA, WRC, F1, Indy and even NASCAR lessons learned were applied to imports with the resultant sprouting of spoilers, wings, lips, aero kits, ground effects, hood-scoops, air-dams, winglets, wider tires and wheels, increased rim sizes, decreased tire sidewalls, huge exhaust outlets, straight-thru mufflers, lowered suspension and dare I say it, sponsor decals. As long as these additions provided a performance increase they were considered functional and acceptable. However when these were added to a basically stock vehicle and/or exaggerated to ridiculous proportions such that they actually detract from the functionality and performance of the vehicle then the terms “Ricey”, “Riced Out” or just plain “Rice” apply. These terms also apply to those modifications in which the workmanship or materials used are obviously crappy. (i.e. cardboard air dams, plywood wings and brush and roller paint jobs). (Synonyms for old timers – “Rednecked”, “Pimped-Out”, “Ghettoed”, “Trailer-Parked”).

The following are the basics of what I have culled from the web:

Stickers are Rice if:
A. It’s a Type R sticker on anything but a Type R Integra.
B. You have enough to obscure more than 15% of your view out the windows.
C. Are vinyl graphics.
D. You have Japanese lettering on a car not from Japan
E. They are any badge, sticker or other device that proclaims your car is something it's not or has something it doesn't. (Think about it, people that are in the know won't be fooled and will laugh at you, people that aren't are ignorant and the girls you're trying to impress could care less).

Stickers are not Rice if:
A. They are required by the sanctioning body where you actually race.
B. Proclaim your membership to an organization (i.e. Cobb Forum stickers)
C. You are paid in money or parts to apply them by a racing sponsor
D. You are inordinately proud of your manufacturer/model and have poor taste.

Wings/rear spoilers are Rice if:
A. They extend vertically past your roofline (NA for dragsters)
B. They extend horizontally past the outside edges of the back tires
C. It has more than one horizontal element
D. It resembles any part of a biological entity (i.e. the ass end of a whale)
E. It provides more drag than downforce
F. It provides or causes lift
G. You can’t run better than 16’s in the quarter
H. You can’t break 120mph
I. If anyone has ever mistaken your car for a shopping cart
J. It is large enough to seat four for a three course meal

Wings/rear spoilers are not rice if:
A. It provides useable downforce and minimum drag
B. It came that way from the manufacturer
C. Your rear tires lose traction at over 150mph without it.

Wheel/Tire combos are Rice if:
A. They have parts that continue to rotate after the car stops
B. They are more than 18” in diameter and are used on the street
C. They weigh more than 1.25lb per inch of diameter
D. They extend past the far outside edge of the fender opening
E. They rub in the wheel wells when turning
F. If you need to install a lift kit to make them fit on the car
G. They break when hitting small potholes or speed bumps
H. Anyone has ever mistaken your car for a skateboard
I. You couldn’t break traction with a 7 grand clutch dump in the rain
J. They are purchased in a box of four for $50 and can be removed with a screwdriver
K. They are very shiny and look like five bladed tugboat propellers

Wheel/Tire combos are not Rice if:
A. They are the max diameter and width allowed by the sanctioning body where you race
B. They provide enhanced handling and vehicle control without sacrificing street durability
C. They allow you to lift the inside front tire in sharp corners

Lowering kits/ Suspension kits are Rice if:
A. Your fender lips leave grooves in your tires
B. Your side skirts leave grooves in the pavement
C. You get hung up on speed bumps
D. Your tires leave the ground after hitting anything larger than a quarter laying on the road
E. You wear a mouth-guard to prevent your teeth from breaking if you do hit a quarter laying in the road
F. You pee blood the morning after cruise night

Lowering kits/ Suspension kits are not Rice if:
A. They enhance the handling of your car
B. They are matched front/rear
C. They can be tuned to match track conditions

Front Air Dams/Lips and/or Body Kits are Rice if:
A. They look like someone beat it with a sledgehammer because you can’t figure out how close you can park to a curb.
B. They extend more than 8” from where your front end used to end
C. It makes the back end of your car come off the ground at speed
D. Your car has ever been mistaken for an 1840’s locomotive
E. You can see through your hood
F. Your ABS hood has a full coverage carbon-fiber appliqué
G. The body kit weighs more than your motor

Front Air Dams/Lips and/or Body Kits are Not Rice if:
A. It provides downforce that matches the force created by the rear spoiler at speed
B. If it prevents air from pooling under the car and causing lift
C. If it reduces your coefficient of drag (C/D)

Mufflers are Rice if:
A. Your engine capacity is 2 liters and your muffler can hold 7
B. You can launch grapefruit with it
C. It can be heard over a mile away
D. Juan Valdez wants it back
E. Neighbors take shots at you if you come home after 11pm
F. Has more than two openings
G. Anything with an opening over 3 and half inches on the street

Mufflers are not rice if:
A. They actually enhance performance and don’t sound like someone passing gas into a 30,000 watt sound system.

Things that are always Rice:
A. Neon light kits
B. TV’s, DVD’s, Playstations, X-boxes, etc… in a car (put 'em in mini-vans where they belong)
C. Sound systems that weigh more than all your tires and wheels put together, including the spare (Unless you are in sound system competitions)
D. Fake carbon fiber appliqués
E. LED windshield washer sprayer heads
F. Bling
G. Foglights aimed higher than your low beams